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Confront the Elephant in the Room

This lesson deals with difficult issues and problems that everyone is aware of, but no one wants to address.
It provides guidance on how to approach such issues to enhance team performance and cohesion.

Lesson 4

What Is the Elephant in the Room?

The elephant in the room is a metaphor for a situation or issue which is causing a great deal of concern and damage, but which people are afraid to openly discuss.

Moving from co-worker to supervisor, as mentioned earlier, can create feelings of resentment and jealousy which can create problems in the team. Although you have made progress in moving the team forward, you may have a situation where one or more individuals are still not on board and it’s clear that the resentment is festering and creating a negative environment.

Avoiding the issue and hoping that it will sort itself out is a fairly common response. However, it is an ineffective way to manage and usually results in the elephant getting bigger and taking up more space. It also requires more emotional and physical energy to avoid the elephant than to just acknowledge the problem and deal with it head on.


Confronting the Elephant

The following steps will enable you to acknowledge the problem and deal with it head on:

Tell the person, who appears to have an issue, that you
would like to speak with them privately.

Describe what you have observed openly and honestly,
giving examples of what you have observed.

Explain the impact of what is happening or likely to happen
if the situation is not resolved.

Allow the person to vent their feelings or give an
explanation without interrupting.

Listen and show empathy by letting the person know
that you understand their perspective but do not get
drawn into talking about feelings.

Be clear about what your expectations are going forward
and focus the discussion on what can be done to improve
the situation, your plans for the department and how
important it is to have them on board, as an engaged
and positive team member.

Offer help and support as appropriate.

End the meeting positively and set a date to review progress.

Tackling Difficult Issues Head-On

Confronting the elephant in the room, whatever the situation, will demonstrate that you are prepared to deal with the difficult issues in a firm and fair way.

This is an important leadership skill as it sends an early signal to everyone that you are not afraid to tackle the difficult issues head-on, and this in turn, will improve the confidence and morale of the team.



Activity

Using your pen and notepad, write down a situation where there was an “elephant in the room”. Were you afraid to address the situation or person at the time?

Identify a small “elephant in the room”, and write down how you would deal with it now before it gets too big.

Key Learning Points

  • Moving from co-worker to manager can create resentment making the transition period more challenging.
  • It is not an effective strategy to ignore the elephant in the room hoping that it will go away.
  • Confront the elephant in the room respectfully, firmly and fairly.
  • Tackling difficult issues before they become too big will improve your confidence, leadership skills and improve the respect and morale of your team.

You have now completed Lesson 4. Click the button below to start the assessment quiz.

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